Embrace the gift of ‘no’

If I kept track of every ‘no’ I’ve received over the years in my work, it could quite possibly make me want to give up, pack my bags and move to a secluded island in no-man’s land ( the pun is not lost on me :-)) But, because I have a very special relationship with the word ‘no’, and don’t perceive it as a form of rejection or a reflection on my personality, work and services; I embrace it wholeheartedly, and my ideal clients and opportunities come to me effortlessly. So, what exactly do I mean by embrace?  Let me tell you…

When I first ventured into starting a business for myself (over a decade ago), I thought the worst that could ever happen to me was getting the dreaded ‘no’ from a potential client. I knew that my work was stellar and that if only I could get people to buy from me then I could share with them my knowledge and my business would grow. Now there’s some truth in this; but what I didn’t know was that receiving a ‘no’ was actually a blessing in disguise, and needed just as much as the desired ‘yes!’.

I’m a self proclaimed self-help guru. I’ve probably read almost every major and minor book on health, wealth, love, business and spirituality, and completed dozens of courses, workshops and certification programs on each of those subjects. And in most, if not all of these books and programs they propose the same thing: “behind every ‘no’ there is a big ‘yes’! So true it is…but for myself it took many years to understand what this meant. My ego had its own agenda and had me believe that I could convince people to buy from me and hire me as a coach if only I could make them see what they are missing. Wrong. 

The truth of the matter is this: the many ‘nos’ you will encounter are a blessing. For one reason or another, they are unable or unwilling to work with you. I know this sounds harsh, but think of it this way…who would you like to work with? Who is your ideal client? Would you like your client/customer relationship to run smoothly from the beginning, or do you want to feel as though you are struggling to work with them? An old boyfriend of mine told me something over 15 years ago that I think applies to this situation, “relationships continue on the basis in which they are founded”. So true! If your first encounter with a potential client/customer is one of angst, uneasiness or fear, it’s probably a safe bet that the relationship will continue on this path. If this potential client declines to work with you, thank your lucky stars! See this as a disaster diverted and move on to the next potential client who may very well give you a big yes.

So, the next time you receive a ‘no’ from a potential client or customer; think of it as a gift. A gift that will save you time, energy and possibly money. If you embrace the ‘nos’ that come your way, don’t be surprised when your next ‘yes’ comes from your ideal client under your ideal circumstances. 

A sought-after women’s fitness expert, well-being coach, business coach, speaker and writer; Kenya Moses has been featured in a number of publications, including Essence Magazine, PopSugar, eHow, Livestrong, Thriving Women in Business Magazine to name a few. In 2010 she published her first book, Be A Fit Mama: The Essential Pregnancy Stretch Manual, and will publish her newest book The Single Mama’s Guide to Getting Sh*t Done in 2017. www.beafitmama.com www.kenya-moses.com

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