As a single mother who has had her share of life challenges, I have a deep connection and appreciation for all the women who often find themselves in a place of fear, isolation and confusion in regards to finding their passions and taking the next steps to achieving their dreams. When in a place of transition and the world seems to be imploding on itself, we seek to find the (any, really) solution to our problems. Sometimes the answers to our stresses are staring us right in the face now we just can’t step back for a moment to gain perspective. Having experienced these trying times, I would like to share with you ways in which I’ve been able to pull myself from the trenches of fear, isolation and a confused mindset.
1. Gain perspective: this is a hard one to grasp and accept. Gaining perspective requires stepping back from your situation and looking at it from an observers view. Imagine yourself talking to a girlfriend. What aspects of the situation are clear to you? What advice would you give her?
2. Brain dump it all: Every week I make a list of all the things that are on my mind – my ‘Brain dump’ if you will. The idea is to get all my to-do list anxiety out of my head and onto something more tangible. I then separate the ‘must do now’ items from the ‘can do later’; and arrange them from easiest to most difficult to complete. The important part is to not look ahead! If you focus only on what needs to be done now, you will stay in the present moment and get much more accomplished. Depending on level of difficulty, try to cross 1-2 items from your list everyday. If something takes more time that you have available, just out it aside until the next day.
3. Take time for yourself: Whether or not you are a mother, spouse or caregiver, you need (and I repeat, need!) time for yourself. This doesn’t necessarily mean meditation or taking a day off from life, but it simply means removing yourself from distractions and outside influences in an effort to allow yourself to breathe, gain clarity and enjoy all the beauty in your life.
4. Affirm your goals: This is my favorite, but often times the most difficult of the steps. Affirming your goals means actually recognizing what you want in your life, your business, your relationships and setting an intention to believe and create those desires. Saying your affirmations in the present moment; for example “I am a highly successful business coach for women and make over $100,000 per year”. Saying your affirmations in the present retrains your mind to accept all that you desire, and brings them closer into your reality.
5. Delegate: This is primarily related to business needs, but you can also implement this into your daily life. Delegation is one of the greatest things, but often is overlooked when you are use to doing things by/for yourself all the time. If you have issues with relinquishing control over things, try delegating something small to someone who can handle the task. If you need to run to the grocery store, but don’t have enough time, try using a service, such as Task Rabbit; and if you need administrative tasks taken care of, perhaps hire a part time virtual assistant. You do not have to do everything by yourself, and your time is too precious to be overtaken by menial tasks.
6. Surround yourself with supportive people: I can not stress this step enough. It is imperative to surround yourself with people who love and support you in your life. For many years I was isolated and didn’t haven’t people around me who believed in me and my dreams. It wasn’t until I decided that that wasn’t the reality I wanted, and made the choice to attract supportive, loving, beautiful people into my life. The success I have experienced in my life has been in direct correlation to the support I’ve received. If we are surrounded by people who belittle our dreams and only bring negative energy, it will only hold us from reaching our dreams. Make the choice to be surrounded by love and anything you desire can be yours.